Underneath it all

Underneath it all
I took the color out and you can still see me behind all the red.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Round Two: Healing Day 17 Trying To Staying Positive

Day 17, 7/24/2014
 
Its difficult to eat or smile.  I have to try hard not to smile or laugh which normally I do so easily, because when I do my lips crack wide open. Most of my lip cracks have been vertical, a deepening of my natural lip lines if you will.  Today I'm not quite sure how, but a horizontal crack formed over my top lip.  I went to a tech workshop at school today, most of my colleagues at this one knew what was going on with my face so I didn't feel self conscious about it.  Some are surprised to see me out, but it actually helps keep my mind off of how bad my face feels when I stay busy and productive.  It was nice to have yesterday, in between my workshops to recoup though because its still a little much.  I'm using Cerave lotion this time, the Clinique Super Defense was a little greasy which I can't stand, and this doesn't seem to sting quite as much when I first apply it.  I usually don't know I've cracked and bled until I see it in the mirror.  Instead of washing with soap, I just let the water run on my face, or use a luke warm washcloth very gently to just barely wipe off the dead skin.  It feels nice just to touch it to my skin for a few seconds.  I wait for my skin to dry for a couple of minutes before applying the moisturizing cream. 
 
I'm feeling a little left out when I hear those around me making plans for Saturday night and they don't include me.  I'm usually a pretty outgoing, happy person and being a homebody is difficult for me.  Trying hard to keep my spirits up.  At least I know this is only temporary and the plus side is when I'm all healed up my skin will be beautiful.  I'm glad I've been through it once personally to know that is the end result, at least until my next treatment.   Maybe Saturday night will be a good time to take my little man to another movie or something fun we can do indoors together.  He doesn't seem to mind being around me. :-) Thanks for your emails, jokes and support.  Ya'll make me smile and feel not so alone in this.  No one really understands until they go through it themselves.  

2 comments:

  1. Just wanted to check on you today and see how your doing. You will soon see the light at the end of the tunnel. Wear your sunscreen when you get there. lol
    Sorry, don't smile....i know that hurts....
    Have a good weekend!

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  2. Your message made me laugh! Thank you!! The past couple of days have been hard emotionally. Just feeling left out and not pretty. My personal little pity party. Whoever thought our beautiful tans would have us sitting home on the weekends missing out on all the fun? Trying to stay busy and keep my mind off of it. It'll be over, (for awhile) soon. G-d Bless and you have a good weekend too!!

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